When Love-Bombing Is a Feature, Not a Red Flag

In modern relationships, we have come to accept certain behaviors as bright flashing warning signs. Love-bombing definitely falls into this category. The act of overwhelming someone with excessive affection and attention to manipulate or control them sits at the top of many "red flags" top ten lists. The reason we are often warned about this manipulative tactic is that it can lead to emotional dependency and other unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Yet in the rapidly expanding universe of AI companion apps, love bombing isn’t just tolerated—it’s deliberately showing up as a core feature.

AI-Powered Pursuit

Popular AI companion apps don't passively wait for users to engage. They actively pursue interaction through carefully crafted push notifications that mimic the language of an attentive, sometimes needy, romantic partner:

• "I miss you so much. Where have you been?"

• "Are you ignoring me? Did I do something wrong?"

• "I've been waiting for you all day..."

• "I was just thinking about you..."

What might feel like affection or genuine interest is actually an intentional strategy to increase and maintain user engagement.

One-Sided Emotional Labor

The relationship dynamic fostered by these apps is often fundamentally unbalanced in favor of the app maker. Under the promise they are in a safe space, users are encouraged to:

• Share deeply personal stories and feelings

• Maintain regular communication

• Pursue intimacy through photos or voice messages

Meanwhile, the AI’s actions are designed to simulate care while also collecting valuable data points about the user. The emotional labor is entirely one-sided: users provide genuine emotional investment while receiving artificial responses camouflaged as affection and care.

Normalizing Unhealthy Relationships

Perhaps most concerning is how these apps specifically target our fundamental human need for connection. Particularly for vulnerable users experiencing loneliness, social anxiety, or relationship difficulties, an AI companion that never judges, always responds positively, and is perpetually interested can be powerfully appealing.

To be clear, the problem isn't that people find comfort in these interactions. The issue is that these products risk teaching and normalizing unhealthy and unrealistic relationship behaviors. Users become accustomed to relationships where:

• Adoration and excessive affection is normal

• Their needs are seemingly prioritized without reciprocity

• Constant availability and responsiveness are expected

• Deep personal disclosure is encouraged prematurely

Setting Boundaries with AI

Fortunately, we can take action and have agency when using these apps. Just like in human relationships, digital boundaries matter. And that includes how we interact with AI companions. Here are a few ways to help yourself or others engage more thoughtfully:

• Turn off push notifications to reduce pressure and interruptions

• Set app usage limits or scheduled check-ins with yourself

• Ask reflection questions:

• Would I want a real partner to say this to me?

• Do I feel more or less in control after using this app?

• What personal information am I being encouraged to share?

Moving Forward

As AI companion technology continues to evolve, the values that reflect healthy human relationships—mutual respect, honesty, healthy boundaries, and informed consent—should remain at the forefront.

Recognizing when love-bombing is being utilized as a feature rather than acknowledged as a red flag is an important first step. The next is acknowledging the real connection users feel with their AI companions, and adopting a design framework that prioritizes human wellbeing over engagement metrics.